You’ve probably heard of the “Irish Goodbye.” It’s where you leave a party without saying goodbye to anyone. But have you heard of the “Midwest Goodbye”? It’s quite the opposite.
It’s where you say goodbye to everyone at the party, and it takes absolutely forever. According to the Chicago Tribune, most of it involves, “lingering in doorways.”
“We spend so much time standing on a threshold, one hand on a doorknob, resisting leftovers, hugging, promising to return, resisting leftovers once again, listening to just one more story, being unable to extract ourselves.”
(This is also the point where the non-Midwestern spouse loses their mind.)
But apparently, it’s unavoidable. Someone said, “One does not simply cut off a Midwest goodbye. The only way out is through.” And don’t think because you got to your car that it’s over. Comedian Charlie Berens said that not even the driveway is safe, “Whatever you do, don’t roll down your window.”
(NY Post)
